Sink Architecture - Walker Simas
It’s hump day. You have no time to waste. Let’s get straight into it.
It all started for me in a country club bathroom- a place with a solid seven-figure maintenance budget and somewhere where you’d expect details to matter.
I stroll in with my coffee, drop the kids off at the pool, go to the sink and I’m greeted by the most disrespectful, incongruent sink design known to man - the small faucet / big basin combo.
Now, as I’m sure you’ve experienced, a skinny guy is a skinny guy as a large man is a large man. It’s striking, and unusual, to see a large-bellied torso on top of some toothpicks. Just the same, I’ve never seen an individual with caddie calves and the quads of an NFL linebacker accompanied by the torso of Christian Bale in Machinist. Why was this sink so distorted? Why not just pick a side?
That morning I left my phone behind and was regrettably unable to secure a photo. At the time, I had no idea the snowball effect that had already begun to take place. From this point forward, I noticed and studied sinks everywhere I went.
And to spare you the storytelling in long-form because this is a friendly quick-read morning newsletter, I’ll lay out my findings here:
Faucet Dynamics- Placement
The placement of the faucet out-spout is INTEGRAL to the hand-washing experience. I remain baffled by the far end bias that decision makers have on out-spout location. Almost never does the out-spout reach the center of the basin, but more importantly, 90+% of the time, the out-spout releases water so close to the far end of the sink that my knuckles make contact with the back wall. This is simply unacceptable behavior that is caused by someone who is so interested in aesthetics that they completely forget about user experience. Maybe, these people aren’t really much into hand-washing themselves. When making my rounds, it’s important to consider #HouseTheory principles. If I find myself in a gas station bathroom or in a $1,600/m studio apartment, I can make peace with that. That’s Blackrock and a local business owner trying to cut costs. I get it. But if you’re selling $200k memberships and turning people away, I’m not reserving any judgement.
Faucet Dynamics - Height
This very well could be one of those “everything but the kitchen sink” moments, because the kitchen sink is the model we should emulate in the bathroom. Height is essential because it allows proper placement of the out-spout without disturbing room for play below. I’ve heard arguments recently that the far end out-spout bias could be due to two factors:
a) to allow for room for soap to drip into the basin without getting on the faucet itself.
b) to allow for ones head and mouth to gulp water in the act of teeth brushing.
Even if you are insane enough to believe either of these is justification for a far end bias, height renders these arguments useless. The kitchen sink, with its magnificent curvature and adaptability shows us precisely what we are missing in many of our bathrooms.
Water-Saving Faucets
Now, from my research, there are three levels of purity when it comes to water density when a faucet is turned on (do not take that sensually).
Puuuuuure Michigan
This is the equivalent to crystal clear ice - absolutely zero oxygen has made its way into this laminar-flow-like stream of water. When you find a sink like this, you’ll almost always find that temperature control has a perfect 70 degree delta. If you came in after a blizzard, you’ve got what you need. Just the same, if you’re playing a summer round in Atlanta, you can lower that body temp as you channel that feeling of Puuuuuure Michigan. Irregardless, this flow is similar to water pressure in the shower. You’re in there to get clean. With decent flow, you can achieve in seconds what our forthcoming options can only do in minutes. Usually accompanied by hand towels.
The Soda Fountain
We all know one because it’s by far the most common water release pattern in the game. It’s water, but it’s air too. It’s also perfectly fine until you’ve tasted the fine wine. What amazes me is how much longer it takes to achieve the desired level of soaplessness. Twice as long, in fact, as the Puuuuuure Michigan route. Usually accompanied by a Dyson or a paper towel dispenser that requires finger mobility and strength.
The Sh!tty Sprinkler
The sh!tty sprinkler is some true EPA bullshit. It takes almost 800 gallons of clean water to make a single white t-shirt, and you’re trying to tell me we need to reduce our bathroom water usage? Is the water bill the low hanging fruit of cost-cutting? Part of my search includes seeking out sh!tty sprinklers, so I’ve been hitting every state-owned facility I can get my hands on. What’s even funnier about the sh!tty sprinkler is the gadgets in the surrounding area. You’ve usually got some sort of press for water feature- usually spitting out water just long enough for your quicker hand to reach before going limp. Almost always, there is a hot and cold feature, yet the water is only one temperature, which is the temperature of the ground. Even better, I’ve seen a high correlation of sh!tty sprinklers next to those pulpy brown paper towels that make you feel as if you have a new chemical on your hands, feeling equally dirty as you did when you approached the sink. Even worse, don’t even think about brushing up against it when hand-washing. Your lower abdomen will be covered in a porridge of day-old sink drippings from those who didn’t clean the sink before you. How can you blame them? You won’t clean it either.
Splash Zone & Basin Mechanics
A ton of you engaged about water pressure AND temperature through this journey (which is ongoing). What’s tricky about both is that they do have their limits. We’ve all been burned by scalding hot water, which I view as undesireable - it shouldn’t be an option. Just the same, too much pressure can cause a massive mess. To me, this is where basin mechanics come into play. Henry and I have talked on the pod before about how much we love flat-bottomed bunkers - but that’s about the only flat-bottomed thing I’m into, especially when it comes to sinks. Similar to a urinal, If the stream has any velocity and smashes against a perpendicular surface, it’s gonna splash. Whether it’s my knee hairs or my upper body getting hit by the ricochets, I am NOT here for that. Basins need curvature- OR, a solid pitch away. Now, I’m not going to inflict my own stylistyc preferences on you- thats a personal choice- so I’ll take the direction of variety here. I love the modern sinks with “no basin” that pitch away. Totally here for that. Just the same, I’m cool with your traditional sunken bowl. Where I do start to hesitate is the “above ground pool” situation. It’s tricky, because they can be done extremely well when paired with the right faucet. My catch is that I feel it can be inconvenient to get around the back to find the hot and cold levers. At the end of the day, basins are all about function. I’m not looking to be “wow’d.
Overall Aesthetics
I’ve had some time to meditate on this deeply through a few long drives and a shower here and there. At the end of the day, the engineering of a bathroom needs to be rock solid, but it isn’t like the materials aren’t widely available. Nobody here is looking for diamond crusted toilets or chrome sinks, we just want tools to do our business in a respectable manner. On the other hand, aesthetics do matter. Especially at a club where the overall feel and quality needs to be maintained throughout the entire experience. Hell, Momofuku founder David Chang is on record saying that his father would not allow their family to eat at a restaurant before walking to the bathroom to check the back of the toilet for cleanliness. If it was clean, he figured the kitchen was too, and they would stay to eat. Many of us expect the aesthetic, the cleanliness, and the vibe of whatever establishment we’re in to me maintained throughout.
My advice? Nail the function, make the choices easy for the cleaning staff, and throw some nice tile, some texture, or some provocative wallpaper up for some flare. Don’t do it with your features. Use paper towels or hand towels, tell the EPA to read a book, and enjoy your life : )