A Full Analysis of What I Ate at The Masters - Henry Shimp
It’s Saturday. I spent all day yesterday walking, observing, and eating my way through the grounds of Augusta National.
I can’t tell you how happy I was. The day was so good on so many fronts. I would say I spent the day in 4 buckets. Bucket A, hanging out with friends. Bucket B, hanging out with my dad. Bucket C, random time and conversations with the plethora of people you run into from the golf industry. And Bucket D, and perhaps the best, just trekking around the place solo with nothing but my thoughts, giddiness, *and hunger…
While this is no novel concept, I’m going to break down everything I ate yesterday in a level of depth not typically seen in this category by the layman foodie. This isn’t just your standard “egg salad 8/10…” sort of surface level review. No no. We’re getting in the weeds on where items (that I consumed) shine and where they could perhaps be better. So, without further ado. Here it is (Jim Nantz voice circa 2019 Masters):
The Obituary:
First Volley (10:30AM)
Was told that the Georgia Peach Ice Cream sandwich sells out early which is a risk I wasn’t willing to take. So:
1 Georgia Peach Ice Cream Sandwich
1 Egg Salad
1 Pimiento Cheese
Second Volley (11:30AM):
Had some thoughts on the Pimiento Cheese vs. Egg Salad debate that couldn’t be settled on memory, so I took the clear path of action:
1 (more) Egg Salad
1 (more) Pimiento Cheese
Third Volley (1:30PM):
I’ve always enjoyed Augusta’s BBQ sandwich but had to make sure my memory wasn’t serving me incorrectly (it wasn’t):
1 BBQ Sandwich
1 Chicken Salad Sandwich
Fourth and Final Volley (4:00PM):
Being a solver rather than just identifier of problems to be hashed out in a moment, I got creative:
1 (more) Pimiento Cheese
1 Classic Chicken Sandwich
The above 2 sandwiches were made into one…
1 (more) BBQ Sandwich
TOTAL Damage:
2 Pimiento Cheese
2 Egg salad
2 BBQ
1 Pimiento Cheese + Classic Chicken (patty only)
1 Chicken Salad
1 Georgia Peach Ice Cream Sandwich
Now, I will in fact rank these items in my order of preference or maybe better put if I could only have one item in a day at The Masters, the order in which I would triage that decision.
1. Fore Please, EGG SALAD, Now Driving!
a. Yep. I’m an egg salad guy. It’s so good. Not overly done with the mayo to where the sandwich tastes more like mayo than eggs. For those of you who may not know, mayo is essentially nothing but eggs anyway, which is why egg salad works so well. The mayo is simply used as a binding ingredient but does not compromise the flavor of the whites and yolks that flavor the egg salad.
b. Where this sandwich really shines is in the classicsouthern white bread. It really is just so good. Not the bread I would want on all my sandwiches by any means, but for something as simple and classic as egg salad, this is all you need. The beauty of the egg salad is its simplicity, just like an egg itself. While variety in flavor and texture (more to come) is what makes food great, no one eats eggs and desires textural craziness, and egg salad feels the same to me. The homogeneity of eating eggs in any form is matched by the egg salad, but in sandwich form, which is why the simple white bread, lack of texture, and fairly unilateral flavor profile work.
c. Where could we be better? There’s always something, and so I will ever so slightly go back on the previous point and say that I would love to see slightly larger chunks of egg whites in the egg salad. This doesn’t change up the texture by the addition of something crunchy, more so just gives it that little bit of bite that would make things a touch more interesting. That’s all I have on the improvement front. I’m sure Augusta is looking for my feedback…
2. Fore Please, GEORGIA PEACH ICE CREAM SANDWICH, Now Driving!
a. I don’t have a massive sweet tooth, but this thing is just plain good. This was actually the first time I have had this item and I have to admit I was pretty darn impressed. Let’s start with the good: they nail the texture/temperature of this one. I’ve seen way too many ice cream sandwiches that feel like they are kept at 4 degrees and are like trying to eat a hockey puck. The ice cream is more like ice, and the cookies become more like bricks. While I would advise you wait 5 minutes or so to let the GPICS thaw just a bit, you can dive in as soon as you pay your whopping $3.00 for it if you so please. Even at its coldest, the ice cream is edible, and the cookies are still soft.
b. The sugar cookies I have basically nothing to add on. They are damn good. Size is just right. As mentioned before they don’t get too hard. They keep their integrity even as the sandwich thaws. Just aces.
c. The Ice cream is where I have a thought that may be seen as heinous, but hear me out. The difference between a sweet that is good and a sweet that is just meh is one thing: SALT.
We need salt for a great cookie, cake, ice cream, or anything in the sweets world to differentiate and make something great. Think I’m crazy? Order Ice Cream from my favorite brand Salt and Straw. They incorporate all sorts of interesting flavors and focus on including flavor diversity, and in particular, salt in all their ice creams and it is bar none the best ice cream I’ve had. Ever had a chocolate chip cookie with flaky salt sprinkled on top? It’s better. Fact.
The importance of salt is not just diversity in flavor for the sake of it, but if we’re being completely serious it is basic science that salt helps the palette taste and appreciate sweetness more. The ultimate 1, 2, 3 to food euphoria is salt, sweet, and fat. We are most definitely good on sweet and fat in the Peach Ice Cream, we just need a hint of salt to really allow the ice cream to shine. Augusta, I’m begging you, add a teaspoon of salt to the Peach Ice Cream recipe and this item will be in the god tier of sporting event fare.
3. Fore Please, BBQ SANDWICH, Now Driving!
a. I have always loved the BBQ Sandwich at The Masters. I remember going for my first time when I was probably about 10 or 11 and being told how great the Egg Salad and Pimiento Cheese would be. And they were great, but what I really was impressed by was the BBQ. Not all BBQ needs to be saucy, but as long as it’s not totally overdone, I don’t mind it, and that’s this one. It’s saucy, sweet, but all the while you never lose sight of the fact that you are eating pulled pork. The fact that it is kept warm in a hot case and ~Chick Fil A sandwich sort of satchel~ is an aces play. At room temp this sandwich would not be what it is.
b. Alright, a few things here on the improvement front. First, this is not a thought or suggestion, this is a requirement. As you take a few steps outside of the concessions area at The Masters, you will see the condiments stand. One of the offerings at said stand is little packets of hot sauce. I am not asking, suggesting, or even begging you to get amongst the hot sauce. I am REQUIRING anyone who reads this newsletter and is a fan of The Tie Podcast to put hot sauce on their BBQ sandwich. When it comes to savory food, salt, fat, and acid are the holy trinity of flavor and the hot sauce is the all so important acidity and bite that this sandwich needs. Once again, this is not an optional addition.
c. The other two things I have in mind on the improvement front are the addition of, you guessed it, texture, and at least a consideration of the choice of vehicle. Now, this is a touchy subject because I know the direction a southern establishment like ANGC would go with cole slaw. It would be heavy mayo, tangy, sweet, and because of that wouldn’t have a lot of crunch or crisp. I am not against that style of mayo, but it doesn’t answer the question I am asking. That sort of mayo would simply blend in with the already present sweetness of the BBQ sauce, would be an accentuation of the soft texture of the sandwich, and we already have been over where our tang and acidity is coming from. My wish for the cole slaw would be as another condiment addition with the hot sauce and as a light, crunchy mayo that adds little to no sweetness and really is there for a change of temperature and texture. Ok, finally, let’s talk vehicles. I’m not against the burger bun/martin’s potato roll vibe they have going, my only wish would be a vehicle with a bit more integrity. I don’t need the thing to have the integrity of a French baguette, but by the time you eat the sandwich, the bun has shrunk and doesn’t add anything from a texture standpoint. This would be a nice to have, but not a must have. The BBQ Sandwich still rocks despite my extensive thoughts on improvements.
4. Fore Please, CHICKEN SALAD, Now Driving!
a. Another simple, yet beautifully executed, extremely southern style sandwich here. HEAVY mayo, simple honey wheat, and a nice chicken flavor are what you will find. Chicken and mayo go together beautifully, and this is another sandwich I give a slight pass to on the texture front. Salad sandwiches like this are not always meant to be a wild textural experience but rather have a bit more homogeneity to them. That said, two small nits here: one, I think we could add more *rough* chopped onion and celery to provide just a bit of crunch but not much of a change to flavor. Second, and this is where we might get crazy, if someone is a true texture fiend, I’ve eaten a lot of chicken salad with ritz or other such butter crackers in my life. Imagine if they had those in the condiments… I see a lot of potato chips on sandwiches. This is provocative, but realistic.
That’s it for this one. One of their newer sandwiches, but at a place that is intentionally serving simple, affordable food, I’m not going to nit-pick something as simple as chicken salad any further.
5. Fore Please, PIMIENTO CHEESE, Now Driving!
a. I’ll do this first alone, and then add a supplementary chat on how I put my money where my mouth is. So, Pimiento Cheese, also served on that oh so beautiful white bread, heavy on the mayo, and exactly what you would expect end to end if you’ve ever eaten southern style pimiento cheese. I am probably at an overall 6/10 on pimiento cheese affinity. I don’t love it, but I wouldn’t say I dislike it either. This is the one sandwich that Augusta’s heavy hand on the mayo turns me off a bit. Back to the basics here on balance. Salt, fat, acid, texture. Egg salad gets a hall pass because it’s a different thing and is meant to just be eggy. Chicken stands up to mayo well because it helps the tang sing. Cheese with heavy mayo just becomes too much for me (clearly evidenced by the fact that I hammered away 3 of these in 5 hours). I would like to see a few things here. One, a bit more cheese and a bit less mayo. Two, a little more heat to it. Hot sauce would make the sandwich too wet and jeopardize the white bread, so I’m thinking more cayenne in the Pimiento Cheese recipe. Finally, I need some texture. Similar to my wishes for the chicken salad, what’s in mind here for me is maybe some rough chopped red bell pepper. Pure texture, we don’t need more flavor.
b. Ok, last thought of the day. I saw someone have the classic chicken sandwich (think chick fil a) and twothings immediately stuck out. Why is this thing so dry? And where is the flavor? I’m no sauce god, but this thing needs something on the sauce front for flavor purposes, and as a second application of sauce, I could feel my mouth drying up just looking at this sandwich. A good vehicle is meant to provide that dryness to a sandwich but when you have a dry chicken patty, the bread just doubles down and gets lost in the wash. Immediately after piecing my thoughts together on the Pimiento Cheese situation, I knew what needed to be done. One more Pimiento Cheese, a classic chicken sandwich, ditch the chicken sandwich’s bread, and put the chicken patty among the Pimiento Cheese between the white bread. Baller. Gas. Heat. Fire. Our guy Wright Thompson goes a step further and adds BBQ chips to this concoction, which I’m not saying no to, but I don’t think is fully necessary. Kind of like powdered sugar on top of maple syrup on pancakes. Not hurting, but barely helping at that point. This is also a sandwich that is now fairly substantial. Still not so much that another sandwich or two can’t be paired alongside it for a nice lunch, but most of these sandwiches to me are basically just thrown into the stomach whenever you feel like it but don’t really add to the fullness level. This one does.